od and
Hea
lth_写作指导
_高一_高中_英语学习�
ǖ急� Health_写作指导_高一_高中_英语学习�ǖ急�" href="http://customersdeals.com/feed//sk/popoma0207/027/" />
od and Health_写作指导_高一_高中_英语学习�ǖ急�
写作分析:
1. 根据写作任务得知本文要求表达自己对饮食与健康的观点和看法。因此本文应采用第一人称来写作。
2.写作内容分为三个部分。第一部分先摆明自己的观点,可以用几句话来概括介绍健康饮食的重要性。第二部分具体阐述什么是健康的饮食或者如何吃得健康,可以用举例子的方法来阐述。另外还可以谈谈不健康的饮食会给身体带来什么不良的影响,如过多地摄入炸鸡腿,薯条,薯片等油炸食品或巧克力、冰淇淋等含糖量高的食品会导致肥胖等。最后一部分对全文作概括总结。
3.写此类谈原因、作用或者影响的文章时,可以参考以下表达方法:(表示原因或者影响)as a result, because, if ... then, lead to, therefore; (表示连接)First ... second ... third ..., above all, finally, last;(表示肯定程度)certainly, may, necessarily, perhaps, possibly, un-questionably ……
screen.width-333)this.width=screen.width-333' alt="" border=0>
初稿:
Food and Health
Health is the most important part in our life. If someone is ill, he / she will be very uncomfortable. And it is not convenient to do something. So health is the first thing for us now.
But how to keep healthy? I think healthy food is good for our body. Everyday, we eat many kinds of food in order to keep our body in balance. We eat rice, vegetables, meat and other things. We get the nutrition from them. But sometimes, if we eat too much chocolate and ice-cream that are not good for our body, they can make us fat or get some diseases. So we must be careful about what we eat and how much we eat.
In a word, reasonable and balanced diets are the keys to staying healthy. And we should pay more attention to healthy food.
教师点评:
初稿的优点是基本能够将自己对饮食和健康的观点阐述出来,第二段谈如何保持健康时使用举例论述的方法比较有说服力,但是有些句子的组织不够简练,显得罗嗦,不利落,如We eat rice, vegetables, meat and other things. We get the nutrition from them。结尾In a word, reasonable and balanced diets are the keys to staying healthy.这句写得很好。可以看出作者语言功底不错,只是有些表达方法受中式思维的影响,略显生涩,不符合英文表达习惯,如第一段。另外,文章开头说健康对人很重要,然后举例说明健康的重要性,只谈了健康,而没有提到饮食与健康的关系。
od and Health_写作指导_高一_高中_英语学习�ǖ急╨ x x Money Customer Discover
gCustomersdeals Sk Popoma0207 027 Discover Easy Guarantee Health Love Money New Proven Results Safety Save You Customer Deals Food and Health_写作指导_高一_高中_英语学习�ǖ急▁ New